Kristina here, CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. 

Recently, I had an interesting experience on social media, after coming across a headline from NPR warning about a potential asteroid hitting Earth in 2032. (Scientists estimate there’s just a 1% chance of it hitting, so nothing to worry too much about.)

What was surprising for me was to read a couple hundred of the over 3,000 comments posted in response to the headline, the vast majority sharing sentiments like, “Can’t come soon enough,” or “Good riddance, people deserve this fate,” or “We won’t be here by then.” 

As I scrolled through the comments, I looked for a single neutral comment – or any comment that deviated from the rather bleak and hopeless sentiment so many people shared. 

I couldn’t find a single one.

So I decided to contribute a comment of my own, if for no other reason than to be a small voice of positive dissension in a sea of apparent collective despair. I wrote about how much we have to be thankful for in life, no matter who our political leaders are, or what is going on in the world. And how what’s so very needed at this time is noticing all the good in this world, and all the beauty and wonder constantly available to us. 

I was sadly not surprised to receive a few mocking and ridiculing responses to my comments. All of this, along with the backdrop of an increasing number of personal friends and colleagues I’ve noticed lamenting the world’s fate – even to the point of damning us to it – has had me in deep reflection.

I wondered, just when had the world become so sad and cynical? 

And then I remembered that it has long been this way, this is nothing new. But it does seem that the intensity of it all, and our anxieties around the state of the world, are growing. 

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Cynicism & How It Gets In The Way of Our Emotional Well-Being

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Instead of cataloging the “when’s” and “how’s” of the way things are, let’s explore for a moment what we sacrifice when we buy into the world’s cynicism, and how to begin forging a healthier and more positive emotional path for ourselves.

Let’s first start with a few concepts that Marc David and I teach:

1. We are all here on a learning and growing journey on Planet Earth. This is true for everyone, regardless of your gender, ethnicity, political affiliation, personal circumstances, or socioeconomic background. 
   
2. Therefore, everything we go through in life, including the choices that we and others make – even our mistakes – are a chance to evolve and grow as a human being.
   
3. Our ultimate responsibility is to ourselves and our own personal growth. Many people have a problem with this, as we’ve been taught that we’re responsible for other people’s lives, emotions, and experiences – or that it’s selfish to focus on ourselves. We also often hold the belief that we feel a certain way because of our circumstances or other people’s behavior towards us. But who else can possibly be responsible for ourselves than us?
   
4. While each of us has a different life path and purpose, at a fundamental level, we’re all here to remember the true nature of our soul. And from this place, to enjoy life, love deeply, and celebrate the beauty of this miraculous world we live in.

These are not the beliefs that the masses hold, I am well aware. To the degree that you hold these beliefs, or at least want to believe this way, make no mistake – you’re a bit of a rebel to society.

The consequence of becoming aware of our personal responsibility to our own journey, and for claiming ownership of our mind and emotions is that we can no longer blame the “other.” We come to recognize that everything in life can ultimately serve us, and is an opportunity to transform at the highest levels. 

How incredibly inspiring it is to know that no matter how difficult life may get, we can grow beyond our circumstances … and into the most actualized, fulfilled, joyful and contented person we can possibly be.

This is the potential available to every human – and yet, so many of us find ourselves caught in the deep cynicism that’s currently plaguing the world. 

And listen, I’m well aware of how easy it is to hear the news and have a negative reaction to it. Or polarize against others who have made choices that are reprehensible to us. Or join in the echo chamber of like-minded people who seem to corroborate just how unfair, ugly, selfish, disastrous, or {fill in with your own adjective}, everything has become.

It’s far harder to acknowledge the nuances in life … the “gray” areas that can feel so uncomfortable. Or to recognize the validity of different life experiences and perspectives, which, let’s be real, sometimes contradict each other in ways that are hard to bridge with the human mind.

It’s much more challenging to hold our minds open, or to recognize that we may not be seeing the whole picture, when everything within us is moving us to condemn. 

It’s even more difficult to release our judgments or our outrage, to maintain a gracious attitude, and to learn to forgive the world – particularly those we perceive as causing such suffering and pain for others.

And it’s perhaps most excruciating, or even unthinkable, to forgive ourselves, which is perhaps why the faults and misdeeds of others seem so very unforgivable. 

But this is the spiritual path laid out in front of every human, whether we recognize it or not. 

At every moment, the choice to love, to empathize, and to forgive, is available to us. 

This is the example set for us by every great humanitarian leader in history, from Jesus to Gandhi to Mother Theresa to Martin Luther King, Jr. Each of these leaders made the choice to see the humanity in each and every person on the planet, and act with love, forgiveness, and compassion.

So many will ask themselves, “how could I possibly forgive THIS? Because to forgive would be to condone, to allow this, and I simply cannot abide what I see around me.” 

But the reason to forgive and to bring grace to others is not simply for them – it’s as much for ourselves as anyone else.

Because so long as we allow ourselves to be caught in the collective disgust, outrage, and bitterness, we will always find our personal peace and fulfillment to be disturbed, or even wholly unavailable to us.

And there is truly nothing more important than your own inner peace and joy.

If you struggle with this, it’s worth taking a look at the beliefs you hold around where your responsibility starts and stops – and for whom, and why.

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Why Your Own Personal Growth Journey is a Civic Responsibility

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Many of us have the rather unfortunate notion that we’re reneging on our civic duty or checking out from the world by not following every news story – or speaking out against the injustices we read about. This is just one of many aspects of the conditioning we receive, and in my observation, has little positive effect on the world and comes at a high cost to us personally.

It’s natural and commendable to ask ourselves what more we can be doing for the world. What a beautiful and loving response to the suffering, pain, and needs of the world. 

But sometimes, this impulse isn’t entirely conscious. It can be born from our own pain, traumas, or difficult past. We may feel a deep need to “fix” the world, and our own pleasure or joy may seem irrelevant in the face of such profound injustice or suffering. 

When we give from a place of personal woundedness, we can’t help but be attached to the outcome. 

And that’s because we’re not just fighting for the rights or well-being of others; we’re unconsciously fighting against the wrongs and injustices that we’ve endured in the past and haven’t yet resolved within us.

Many of us feel a deep desperation for the world to be equitable, kind, and considerate of the needs of others. But until we discover that within ourselves, we’ll never be able to be the kind of positive force in the world that can truly change the world. 

Which is why it’s so vital to do our inner work, and make our own well-being and fulfillment paramount. This is the antidote to the world’s cynicism, including our own.

If you’re worried about not doing your part, then please keep this in mind:

The world has never truly been transformed through righteousness, outrage, or worry. We don’t turn on the news and effect change through our anxiety, no matter how important or compelling it may all seem.

What changes the world are the people unwavering in their belief of the goodness of life, and committed to standing for it. Those who understand the human condition, and bring love to themselves and those around them. People with the power of mind to meet unconsciousness with consciousness. Those who notice beauty and add to it. People who remain grateful for the incredible opportunity to be alive and part of this great mystery of Life. People who are willing to let go and forgive.

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4 Questions for Finding the Good in Ourselves & The World

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Here are four key questions you might ask yourself as you navigate life’s challenges:

• How can this situation serve me or others? What positives can come from this?
• What perspectives or aspects of this circumstance might I be missing? 
• Why is this situation upsetting me so much? What might it be bringing up from my past that needs my care and attention?
• What am I needing in this moment – emotionally, physically, or spiritually – and how can I best give this to myself?

By directing our attention with curiosity, positivity, and self-regard, we can cultivate a far healthier inner world and lead others by example.

You are of course welcome to disagree with any and all of this. We all have the right to experience the world in our own unique way, and hold the perspectives that we find most important. 

But it is my hope that we can all find ways to remember the beauty and glory of the world we live in, which invariably must include all of the things we wish were different. Because in so doing, we can remember how extraordinarily fortunate we are to live on this planet, at this time, in this body, and in this life. 

Our willingness to see all that is good in our world, and to stand firmly in our appreciation of it all, allows us to be a beacon of hope for others who truly need it.

Which positively changes the world, one small ripple at a time.

So please take heart, friend. The world is a far better and more beautiful place than many believe, and your place within it is so very important.