There are plenty of coaching programs with all kinds of techniques that come and go. But some coaching techniques are timeless. And one of the most important of these coaching skills is this: “Leveling the playing field.” This means that we choose to truly see our clients as equals, and not someone who is “less than us” and in need of being saved. When we see our clients – or our friends and loved ones – in this way, it helps them relax and let go, and it allows us to better intuit how we can serve people in a way that really works. Join Marc David, Founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating as he explores the finer points of helping our clients transform, and being the most effective practitioner that we can be. Even if you’re not a coach, you’ll get some great insights from this fascinating IPEtv video.
In the comments below, please let us know your thoughts. We love hearing from you and we read and respond to every comment!
Below is a transcript of this week’s video:
Hi, I’m Marc David, Founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.
Today’s Topic: Timeless Coaching Tips: Part 3
And the coaching skill we’re going to talk about today is:
Leveling the playing field.
Now, I’m going to talk about this thing called “Leveling the playing field” as a skill in the context of coaching or counseling or in any helping profession. But please know that this skill is certainly applicable for anyone who wants to be a more effective communicator in the world.
Leveling the playing field means that we as practitioners need to learn to see every client that we meet with as our equal.
It means that we find a place inside of ourselves where we become super clear that the person sitting in front of us is actually no different than who we are.
They might be older than us, younger, they might have more money, less money, they might have a ton of weight to lose while we have the best body, or they might be in way better shape than we are. Our client might not be as educated as us, they might not be as well spoken, they might be in a lot more fear, anxiety, or self-doubt.
But no matter what the differences are between our client and ourselves – I’m suggesting that we always drop into a place with every single client where we see ourselves as equal in the eyes of the universe. You are equal to your client in your value as a human being.
Now, at first, this may not seem like such a big deal.
You might be thinking that this is how you always think.
But chances are, if you’re a human being alive on planet Earth, there are certain places where we tend to feel a little better than other people, or smarter than them, or that we have our act together more in certain areas. And these subtle thoughts or beliefs can often result in a sense of superiority.
And it’s this false sense of superiority that makes us think that we can look at the person sitting across from us not so much as a person, but as a thing to be fixed.
Now of course, I want you to be successful with your clients. I want you to help them. I want your clients to find happiness.
But what I’m suggesting here is this:
If you don’t level the playing field, you actually make your job way more difficult.
Even if your client is a young person who doesn’t have any of the years or the worldly experience or the education that you have – I’m saying that you have to level the playing field and see that client as equal. You are simply further along down the road than they are.
When we create equality inside of ourselves in relation to the person sitting in front of us, there is a magic that happens. There is an X factor that comes into play. Something invisible takes charge.
When any kind of health professional sits high up on a throne with the intention to give information and edicts to the masses, when we believe that we are the chosen one because we have special information that others don’t, I believe that there is a level where we are violating universal law.
In this case, universal law simply says that the sun shines down on all of us in an equal way. The sun doesn’t try to say I’m going to shine a little bit more on this person as opposed to that person because I like this person better. I’m suggesting that the creative force that is responsible for all of existence indeed operates in this way.
I’m suggesting that when we do the internal alchemy, the internal moving around of our ego-furniture to find the place where equality exists between me and any human on the planet, then we create a special moment.
We’ve tapped into a magic.
We’ve accessed a hidden code. We’ve set in motion something favorable for ourselves, and for our clients.
Can you think of a time when you were with any kind of helping or healing professional, and you had the sense that they felt superior to you? Chances are, it didn’t feel so good, did it? Chances are, it didn’t create more trust, more care, or more confidence in your own healing journey. In such moments, we often walk away feeling less than, as opposed to uplifted and inspired.
Now see if you can recall a time when you were with a helping professional and you experienced them speaking to you as a person. You felt they had a kind regard towards you. You were clear they weren’t talking down to you, but rather, they were with you as a fellow human being, as a professional friend, as someone who cares.
Did that make a huge difference?
That’s the kind of coach or counselor or professional that you can be if you so choose.
Use this coaching skill: Level the playing field.
From that place, life rewards us in a very beautiful way.
Of course, this is one of the many, many strategies that we teach here at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating in our premier professional program – our Eating Psychology Coach Certification Training.
So if this whets your appetite, I invite you to learn more by going to psychologyofeating.com.
I hope this was helpful, my friends.