Stop Waiting to Lose Weight So You Can Find Love – In Session with Marc David

Marc David
Welcome, everybody. I’m Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. We’re back in the Psychology of Eating podcast, and I’m with Shawnna today. Welcome, Shawnna.

Shawnna
Hi, Marc, how are you?

Marc David
I’m doing really well. I’m glad we’re here, glad we’re doing this. For anybody new to the podcast listening in, Shawnna and I are meeting for the first time and the idea is we’re having a session together and seeing if we can do some good work. So Shawnna, if you could wave your magic wand and get whatever you wanted, with food and body, what would that be for you?

Shawnna
I think for me, it would be just an easeful relationship with food, not having it be the forefront of everything and having it be in its rightful place. Just that thing that provides me with energy and you know, makes me do my best in all areas of life. Not have it be an obsession, or something that I’m constantly thinking about or spending energy on. And just really, like, not letting that hold me back from certain areas of my life.

Marc David
Got it? Okay, that’s very clear. So, when did you notice that food became something that was occupying your mind so much?

Shawnna
I think that for me, really, I’ve noticed it a lot in my adulthood. There’s times in my life where, you know, my social life is really flourishing and food is more on the backburner. But then the times where, you know, maybe work is a little bit more stressful, or I’m isolating myself, or I’m not spending time with friends, my relationship with food then becomes more of an obsession. And it’s the friend, it’s the confidant, it’s the boyfriend, it’s all of these things, because the other areas of my life are not very built up at that time. And so I kind of started really paying attention to that probably in my 30s. And then, it seems like, the more I thought about it, the harder it was to sort of repair it and or, you know, get it to a place where it’s it’s just not as much of a of a thought.

Marc David
Okay, how old you now?

Shawnna
I’m 41.

Marc David
Okay, so was food a concern for you when you were young/teens before that?

Shawnna
Yeah, I would say for me, it started when my folks filed for bankruptcy, and we lost our house. I don’t really know the specifics of how all of that went down but I know what it felt like, as a child. And it was, you know, one day I’m riding my bike with my best friend, and we’re doing kid things, and then all of a sudden, we’re needing to thin out my toys and get rid of things because we were being forced to move overnight. And so we had a short period of time where we were homeless, and I distinctly remember, food insecurity was a real thing for us. And, you know, I remember being in line waiting for free food commodities, or being on food stamps, and understanding that as a kid, like that made me different than other kids. And so I think that experience really shook my foundation and my security. And so that experience really thrust me into probably like a nervous breakdown for a kid. And then when I started to kind of build my life, we moved and I started new school district. I didn’t have friends right away. And so what I did was I would come home and I would watch my soap operas. And the people on those shows were my friends at the time, and I would eat a sandwich and I’d eat chips, and you know, cookies and soda. And that was my snack. And that’s, probably my earliest memory of using food as a salve and to comfort me versus anything else. And so, I remember my mom saying, you know, let’s have that be your dinner rather than a snack, because then I would eat dinner afterwards. And so I think it all kind of stems from those time periods for sure.

Marc David
How old were you when that all started happening?

Shawnna
When we lost our house, I was probably about 11 or 12 and then junior high, so maybe 13 and 14.

Marc David
Got it. Do you remember at what age food insecurity wasn’t so much of an issue?

Shawnna
Yeah, I would say probably right after 14 or 15 you know, we were in a new house, my parents were back on their feet, things were back to normal, so to speak. My family’s never been necessarily like, really above middle class. So there wasn’t a really big departure, but we definitely were fine and able to make ends meet and food insecurity wasn’t something that I was concerned with.

Marc David
So how do you feel about your weight?

Shawnna
I don’t like it. I struggled very much with that, it for sure holds me back from wanting to date, and just even being out socially. It’s something that I have for sure struggled with for at least six or seven years now. I had a period of time, probably a little over 10 years ago, where I had success with weight loss, I worked with a trainer and I had a routine. So I would put my gym clothes on before I left work, I would drive straight to the gym, meet with my trainer, and then go home and kind of do my evening routine. I also felt like meeting with the trainer was sort of a social gathering, because he was really fun, and he was really fun to be around. So it was enjoyable to go and when I decided to sell my house, I really started to fall out of my patterns because every time somebody wanted to see the house, I had to drop what I was doing and sort of be at their beck and call. And so I started to really lose my consistency and my routines. And I really feel like ever since then I’ve really struggled to get any kind of consistency back.

Marc David
When was the last time you were at a weight that you felt good about yourself?

Shawnna
Um, probably that timeframe. So I would have been around 30 to 33

Marc David
Do you know what weight you were at?

Shawnna
I think I was probably around 150 pounds, maybe give or take 10 pounds here and there.

Marc David
And so you think that the weight has come on since then? What do you tell yourself in terms of well, the weight came on because of lack of consistency? Or, is it just one thing?

Shawnna
There was also a medication that I was on that caused a lot of weight gain because the sensor in my brain telling me you’re full was broken. So again, that coincided with a time where I was probably not as social, more isolated, etc.

Marc David
And you’re still on that medication?

Shawnna
No.

Marc David
Did you notice a difference when you came off the medication?

Shawnna
In other areas yes, not so much… the weight still felt like – weight. Yeah.

Marc David
So how much weight do you want to lose?

Shawnna
I would love to be under 200. If I could get in the 160 range, that would be great so that’s probably 50 pounds.

Marc David
And what do you think is your road to get into that 50 pound less of a body?

Shawnna
That’s a great question. It’s hard to answer it because I feel like I’ve tried so many things and like things just haven’t stuck or I start to get some momentum and then I kind of fall back into old patterns. The foods that I reach for naturally are sugary and so I know that like that is going to have more of an addictive quality and so it feels just really like I can’t get over the hurdle. So it’s hard to answer that.

Marc David
So when you say, when I asked you at the beginning, if you could wave your magic wand, get whatever you wanted you wouldn’t be worried about food. So can I assume that means you’d be at the weight that you want to be at and therefore not being worried about food? Because if you’re not at the weight you want to be at then you’ve got to be thinking about food.

Shawnna
Yeah, that’s accurate.

Marc David
Okay, so how did you feel about your weight when you were in your teens?

Shawnna
Um, I honestly don’t really remember being obsessed with it. I was so active with things that really filled my bucket, I had tons of friends, I was in some sports, I was very active in band, I had all of these things that just really occupied my mind. And so I don’t have a lot of memories where I was thinking about my way a lot, or, you know, being obsessed with food, I was just really living and living with a lot of joy and so it wasn’t really a thought.

Marc David
Are you working these days?

Shawnna
Yes, I have my own business. Yeah.

Marc David
So you’re working from home?

Shawnna
Yeah

Marc David
How often do you get out of the house?

Shawnna
Um, I have a dog. So I have to take her out, you know, four times a day, because we’re in an apartment. Um, I would say, sometimes I’ll go and work from a coffee shop but there are definitely many days where I don’t get out other than to take the dog for a walk.

Marc David
So let’s say, just theoretically, let’s say the weight was gone, you’re at 150 or even less. Other than your body has changed what do you imagine will be different? How’s your life going to be different when you’re at that weight that you want to be at?

Shawnna
I think that I would feel more comfortable doing social things. I would be more open to dating. I would want to fill my social calendar, I’d want to get out of the house, I would feel excited to express myself through clothes and style again. I think I would just feel lighter, energetically, mentally, emotionally. I just see myself being more lively and more joyful.

Marc David
That makes perfect sense to me. So, do you have brothers or sisters?

Shawnna
I have an older brother.

Marc David
How’s his relationship with his weight?

Shawnna
Um, he for sure struggled with weight as a child. I remember kids made fun of him quite a bit because he was a little overweight. I think he had a period of time where he probably felt a little bit better about it but I know now he still struggles and I think he’s probably heavier than he would like to be.

Marc David
And are your parents still alive?

Shawnna
Yes.

Marc David
And how’s their relationship with their bodies? Relative to their weight?

Shawnna
My dad is always trying some sort of “get thin quick” scheme. In fact, not too long ago, he’s not the most technology savvy person. And so he will often click on news articles or something and he doesn’t know that it’s not really a legit article. But it was something about mixing a coffee with cinnamon and something or another and you do that three times a day, and you’ll just drop 15 pounds in like a day. And we know that that’s preposterous, but there’s a part of him that really thinks that it could happen and so he’ll like, he’ll just be sort of on these things. And then he realizes that it actually is a lot of work. It’s not something that is going to happen overnight. And so he sort of forgets about it until the next one comes along. So he’s type two diabetes. Dad had diabetes. And so yeah, he definitely talks about his weight a lot has for the last many years. My mom, I think that she has a fairly healthy relationship with food. I mean, when she knows that she’s gained some weight she might talk about it a little bit, but it’s not an obsession for her.

Marc David
Okay. So I want to offer some, some thoughts based on what we’ve been talking about so far. You know, sometimes it can be more of a challenge when we come from a family system where weight is just more front and center. It just is, because that was just part of your tribe and that was part of the experience and even if you all don’t still live together, it almost doesn’t matter because you’re still connected to each other in an interesting kind of way. So I’m just acknowledging that, that isn’t easy and I’m also always looking at our relationship with food and body being a great teacher. That’s always where I will return to, when trying to look at okay, what’s next? When I’m asking what’s next for you, I’m asking the question really – How is where you’re at with food and body right now, how’s it being a great teacher? So I’m just asking that question as you and I are talking and, you know, what I’m seeing for you is that there are different places you can be working. I don’t think it’s one thing for you, oh, if I can just do this, then it’s all going to shift or just do that, then it’s all going to shift. So I think for you, it’s going to be paying attention to a couple of key areas and I’m going to let you know what those are.

One approach, which is completely valid, and I would recommend you adopt this approach to some degree, which is looking at all the things that you said about who you’re going to be when the weight comes off. I’m going to be more out there, a little more confident, a little more willing to show up, more willing to date. Just feel more like the real me. Technically speaking, because you don’t have the weight that you want to have right now then you’re sort of not the real you. And then what happens is being the real you, being the real Shawnna all of a sudden becomes dependent on like the food on your plate and that puts a lot of pressure on the food. There’s a lot of pressure on the food, it puts a lot of pressure on you in terms of food. Because if being the real you is dependent on eating this and not eating that and controlling the food on your plate, that’s intense. That can be very frustrating. So I understand for you then why it’s frustrating, I understand why you would say I just want to be free of all the nonsense in my head.

So this is one way to get free of the nonsense in your head. Is to decouple, to separate out you being the real you from I got to lose weight first in order to do that. Now, while I’m saying that I’m still interested in you having your preference. You wish to lose a bunch of pounds that’s perfectly legitimate for you to want that. It’s your experience, it’s your life, it’s your body. And this is what you want, this is what you prefer and it’s not out of line given where your body’s been before. So you know your body can go there. So I like to think of the weight that you want to be at as your personal preference. However, you being the real you is not dependent on I don’t know having blue hair. And if I only got up the nerve to dye my hair blue then I’ll really be the real me – like no. You can be the real you now. And I know that’s easier said than done.

Do you know of anybody who has your body type and your approximate body weight that’s in a loving relationship?

Shawnna
Yes.

Marc David
Okay. Proof positive it doesn’t matter!

Shawnna
Yeah.

Marc David
In a weird way, a lot of times what happens when we say to ourselves, I’m only lovable if I lose weight – if I lose weight, then I can attract somebody, then I’m worthy of love – that’s like, imagine if you’re just walking down the street and somebody looked at you and said, you know something, I’d be in a relationship with you, I’d really want to date you if you lost 40 or 50 pounds – you’d want to smack the person.

Shawnna
Right!

Marc David
You wouldn’t want to be with them. Even if it was the best looking richest guy in the universe, you’d be completely turned off. And certainly, if one of your friends said that to you, or a loved one said that to you, I’ll love you more. When you lose 50 pounds, you’ll be you’ll be more worthy of my love. That would hurt. So I’m just trying to point out kind of the craziness of that conversation. You didn’t invent that conversation, but that’s how we’re conditioned to think. That I’m lovable, when my body looks a certain way. No, you’re lovable now. I get that you’ll love your body more. When it’s a different weight or shape but you can’t say how other people are going to feel about you. Because there’s all kinds of people with all kinds of people.

Shawnna
Mm hmm

Marc David
So to me, there’s something about you claiming your life. And I think it’s learning to ask how is your food and body challenge asking you to grow? I think a part of it is finding self security now, independent of weight. Because security and food was an issue from a young age and it still is, but in a different way. Early on, it was literally like survival, am I gonna have food? I’m hungry. That’s insecurity. Now, it’s still insecurity but it’s just, am I going to have love? Am I going to love myself? And am I going to be loved by others? Am I going to have a loving relationship in my life? Oh my God, that’s dependent on food. Whew, a lot of pressure. That’s what makes it so crazy. That’s why we want to be free of that conversation. It’s too much. So it takes a willingness to really start to shift and say, Who do I want to be? I want to feel more confident. I want to feel confident to just be out there more and socialize more. Great! Let’s do it! Fake it till you make it kind of thing, really. And you’re at the age where you can start finding security within. It’s not dependent on food or your body. Yes, you want your body look different. Perfectly reasonable. But your life is not dependent on it.

Shawnna
Yeah

Marc David
Your expression is not dependent on it, your loveability isn’t dependent on it. You know that because you can look around and you see people who have the same body you have or similar to it and they have loving relationships. Everywhere I go all over the world, people of all shapes, sizes and ages. So I think that is the sort of foundational place to work. The place alongside that to look at is kind of connected actually. I think it’s really asking yourself what you really want in your life other than weight loss. Like what you really want and fully owning that desire. So when you hear the question – What do you really want if you can truly wave your magic wand with anything? What would you love to have in your mind?

Shawnna
Confidence, joy, adventure, love. Yeah

Marc David
And by love you mean loving relationship

Shawnna
And loving friendships and just being loved myself.

Marc David
Yes. So where would you rank relationship in that relationship with a significant other?

Shawnna
Where would I rate it? Like as in my desire for it?

Marc David
Of all the things that you want? Confidence happiness?

Shawnna
Yeah, it’s probably one of the top things.

Marc David
Yes. Yeah. So that was my guess. I mean, it’s not like it’s some genius guess. That’s what probably a significant amount of humans want.

Shawnna
Yeah.

Marc David
And so many of us think that we’re not worthy for fill in the blank. There’s so many different reasons. I meet people, I have students, clients, friends, family loved ones who will have all these different reasons that have nothing to do with their body. I don’t make enough money. I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t feel good about my family. I don’t know. Whatever the reason is.

So it’s really about you, putting the things in order of priority about what’s really most important to you. Having love in your life is high up there. To me, that should supersede that should go above weight loss. Not below it, and certainly not dependent upon it. I think that’s just an important course correction. Because then you’re being you, and you’re claiming you and you’re owning you and what your desire is and what you want.

Shawnna
Yeah.

Marc David
And not making that desire dependent on anything else other than that’s what I want.

Shawnna
Yeah.

Marc David
And it’s so hard for a human being in this world, in these times to separate out my looks from my lovability, because we’re kind of taught from a young age that those are dependent.

Shawnna
Yeah, especially for women.

Marc David
Especially for women. Women are pummeled from a young age with all kinds of direct and indirect messages, that you have to look a certain way in order to be a winner. And in order to be deserving of love and a loving relationship. It’s just not true.

Shawnna
Yeah.

Marc David
And we know it’s not true, because just look around. So food is not really in your way. Technically speaking, you’re putting it in the way and you’re putting in the way because that’s how you’ve been conditioned. You’ve been trained to put it in the way from a young age. So now that we’re adults, we can start to look at some of the beliefs that we inherit from the world and go, okay, which one of those beliefs work for me? And which ones don’t?

Shawnna
Yeah, I think it got worse as I’ve gotten older, because then you have the question of like, am I going to have a family? Like biologically women can only have children biologically speaking for a certain amount of time? And I started feeling even more pressure about this whole thing as I’ve gotten older. And that’s really hard too.

Marc David
Yes. So that’s why it’s important to separate out weight from the equation and put the things that are truly important to you. Put them in first place and give those things your energy because that’s going to make you want to live your life. Yeah, by going for what’s really important to you. And that’s going to take a little bit of inner work. It’s going to take you starting to believe in yourself and starting to believe that you’re more than just your body in terms of your value and your love ability and it would be great for you to just write an inventory and write a list of all the things about you that would make you a great partner.

Shawnna
Yeah, I actually did write a list of 100 things that I love about myself.

Marc David
Love it.

Shawnna
And like none of it had to do with my body!

Marc David
And that’s fine. You know, here’s the thing. When it comes to men and women believe it or not, women are far more specific and judgmental about bodies then men are. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve been in with women over the years, who are desperately wanting to lose weight, they’re already in a relationship. And I’ll ask the question, how does your husband feel about your body? He loves it! What does he think about you trying to lose weight. He just wants me to be happy but he just wishes I would just be happy and just enjoy my body. And there it is. You know, women and men tend to think differently. Of course, there’s gonna be some men that get really specific and really judgmental. And if a man like that shows up in your world, it’s not the guy you want. You know, it helps you make your choice. That doesn’t disempower you that empowers you, you cross that person off the list. Somebody doesn’t like your hair color or doesn’t like anything about you. Great. Good. Adios. So it’s easy when we’re not satisfied with where our body is at, because our body and its weight is going to grant us our true life and true love. If we’re believing that, then we’re putting off all our dreams and hopes and desires, which is what we have as human beings. You know, and now is your time in life. What’s going to happen is, because when we’re not getting what we really want, we will be dissatisfied, we’ll be unhappy, we’ll be uncomfortable. And I’m going to look to medicate that unhappiness and discomfort and one of our favorite ways to medicate is with food. And then, oh my God, but food makes me gain weight, and I have to push away and stay away from it. But I can’t seem to do that because I get pulled into old habits. One of the reasons we get pulled into habits that we don’t want to get pulled into is because food is actually the solution. It’s not really the problem it’s the solution meaning food is a solution to unwanted emotions, uncomfortable emotions, food is the solution to I’m not really feeling good about my life, because I’m not having the things I want that are truly important to me. So yeah, I’m gonna turn to whatever distracts me gambling, food, drugs, entertainment. We all have our distractions. Food is the most common one, I think.

Shawnna
And it’s like the hardest one to entangle. Because we have to have food to live.

Marc David
Yes, we do. So it’s helpful to notice when you’re going against your own best wishes, when it comes to food, it’s helpful to notice okay, what’s what’s happening for me right now? What’s really going on? Oh, I’m lonely. Or I’m bored. Or I just need connection and I need to feel good. And this is what makes me feel good. And the reason why I’m wanting connection is because I’m not getting it. Not having it. The reason why I’m not getting intimacy is I’m not looking to create it. Because I have to have this condition met first. The scale has to give me permission. Don’t look to that little machine to give you permission to live your life. I think your weight loss journey will be easier, way easier when you downsize it you literally put it in an order of what’s truly important. If we can fast forward to you at 100 years old and you’ve lived your ideal life, and you’re on your deathbed, and you feel good, you’re happy to go, because you had your ideal life. And if I can interview you and say, Okay, tell me the top five or six things that made your life ideal, I promise you, none of them will be I lost a bunch of weight. Right? Yeah. You had love in your life, you had kids in your life, you were happy. You were living the life you wanted to live. You gave love, you received love.

So I think that’s the shift. And it’s sort of the child in us. It’s the little kid in us that wants to go, but I want to lose weight now, you know, like, I just want this and and it’s reasonable to want. But we have to see, when it’s that part of us that’s the disappointed child. Yeah, I mean, we want what we want when we want it. That’s a child’s job. It wants immediate gratification. We want the immediate gratification of eating whatever food we want. We want the immediate gratification of just magically I weigh what I want to weigh. And your relationship with food and body is being a great teacher for you. And sometimes we gotta learn lessons that just aren’t the ones we would otherwise choose. Give me a different lesson. Not that one.

Shawnna
Yeah. Yeah, it’s honestly been the portal for so much growth for me, it really has, because I’ve had all these conversations about it and worked on healing the child that had the security taken out from her. And if I wouldn’t have been struggling with some of this, then maybe I wouldn’t have had that opportunity to look inward.

Marc David
And you’re still, we, all of us, we’re still learning and growing, you’re still learning and growing. And your life doesn’t have to be on hold because you’re still learning how to have the kind of relationship with food that helps give you the body that you want. Yeah, in how to do that. And oftentimes, the way to do that is not what we think. Sometimes the way to have the body you want is to first have the life that you want. Having the life that you want means kind of wanting your life as it is. Meaning I want myself I want my body. I want my body even though it’s not perfect. I want my life even though it’s not perfect. Like I want to do this, I want this life I’ve been given. If I’m giving my body the message, I don’t want you. It’s going to be hard to feel gratitude. It’s going to be hard to feel abundant. It’s going to be hard to invite in love. Because I’m telling myself I don’t want me that’s kind of the billboard that I have. I don’t want me. Yeah.

How’s all this landing for you? What are you thinking?

Shawnna
When you were talking about the somebody passing me on the street or a family member saying you’re not lovable until you lose the weight it made me emotional, because I was in my internal voice, my wise self was imagining saying that to my child’s self or like me now and it broke my heart to think about that, that that’s the message I’m sending my own self first. And I’m accepting it. And that just makes me feel sad that I’m doing that.

Marc David
Yes, that’s an appropriate reaction for sure. It’s saddening, and the good news is, you’ve got you’ve got some power here. Yeah. Because now that you’re aware of that internal conversation. A lot of our internal conversation, it’s automatic, it’s habitual, it just does itself. All you got to do is wake up in the morning, and the conversation machine turns on. And it’s running. And until we become actually aware of it, and the impact that it’s having on us. It won’t change. So we’re just shining a light together on the internal conversation and go, Oh, yeah, now that I hear that that’s the conversation that makes me sad.

Shawnna
Yeah. Because you’re right, we wouldn’t accept it from anybody else. So why do we accept it from ourselves?

Marc David
Yes, and you’re not walking around, looking for a person who’s, you know, got a perfect body. And, you know, I’m guessing you’re the kind of person who you’re looking for love. And that can show up in a lot of different ways. Right, that’s what you deserve!

So it starts with you giving yourself that gift of okay, I’m perfectly lovable as I am and here I am. I’m available. And being available in these times means yeah, start to get out. I start to circulate. I start to show up in places. I even might start to let the people in your world know who can potentially introduce you to somebody, Hey, I’m on the market. You want to get on dating apps or sites? Whatever. The good ones? I don’t know. But you know, I know people of all ages, and all different kinds of lifestyles finding love and relationship online. It’s a very different world. So it’s a matter of just putting yourself out there into the world and just saying, I’m here. This is me. Yeah. And there’s nothing to apologize for. You owe nobody an apology for who you are and how much you weigh.

I guess I’m trying to give you a pep talk.

Shawnna
It’s a good one. You have me thinking about so many things…

Marc David
How does it sound to you when I talk about getting out there and starting to date?

Shawnna
Umm there’s excitement and there’s nerves. I think just having not been out there in a while I gotta find my footing. But I think taking the expectations and pressure out of it to just say I’m going to go and meet people and give good energy and be myself and not worry about how that lands for anybody.

Marc David
Yeah. People of all shapes and sizes when they get back into the dating game, are nervous. Yeah, doesn’t matter. Your age, your body doesn’t matter. Yeah, you know, you can be your hot teenage self and you’ll be nervous on a date. So really, it’s if you think of it as practice and you take the pressure off yourself. And you look at it as just giving yourself the opportunity to play with just getting more comfortable. And yeah, here’s me. And just being you. Yeah. And there’s nothing to hide. There’s me. Yeah.

Shawnna
It’s funny because I can point to times in my life where I was attracted to somebody because it was an energy, it like really had nothing to do with. I mean, I felt physically attracted yes, but it was more so that the person had an energy that I responded to. And I have to remind myself of that.

Marc David
Yes. I love when you say I have to remind myself of that, because as you remind yourself of that more and more, you can acknowledge to yourself that that’s the kind of person you want attracted to you. Oh, I feel a chemistry with her. Hmm. Curious about her. I wonder who she is. I think in order to attract that we have to own who we are. In the realm of what I’m drawn to, what I’m attracted to, the one I’m looking for, what I want. And then just be in circulation.

Shawnna
Yeah. I’m not going to find anybody by never leaving my house.

Marc David
Exactly. So you can know inside yourself that yeah, I want my body to shape shift at some point. And right now, my focus is on creating a happy life. And a happy life means me being out there means me circulating more, having more connections with people. It means me dating, it means me finding love or love finding me however it works. Those are the things that are most important.

Shawnna
Yeah, you’re absolutely right because I think that as we get older, regret starts to really feel like a real thing. And it’s painful to think like, oh my gosh, the last 10 years I’ve not been doing this because I was waiting for this perfect circumstance or the right body or whatever. And then you look and you go, man, I just lost those years, and I’m never gonna get those back. And I don’t want to move forward any more with the pain of regret on anything.

Marc David
I love that for you. What a great way to live one’s life. You feeling good about this conversation, Shawnna?

Shawnna
Yeah, I can’t wait to watch it back because you’ve given so many good nuggets of wisdom here that I’m very grateful for.

Marc David
I’m so glad we’re in this conversation. I have all kinds of good hope and good faith in you that you know, you’ll attract what you want, just as soon as you allow yourself to own it and put first things first and let the things that are truly important to you just feel them and embody them.

Shawnna
Yeah. I’m ready to get out there and do that.

Marc David
I’m so glad, Shawnna.

Shawnna
Thank you, Marc!

Marc David
Thanks so much for a great conversation. I really appreciate it. Take care of everybody!