Embracing The Spiritual Journey of Diabetes  – In Session with Marc David

Embracing The Spiritual Journey of Diabetes  – In Session with Marc David

Marc David  

Welcome, everybody. I’m Marc David, Founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. We are back in the Psychology of Eating Podcast with Jen today. Welcome, Jen. 

Jen  

Thank you. 

Marc David  

Glad we’re here, glad we’re doing this. The idea is that you and I get to meet for the first time in this context and do a session together. If you could wave your magic wand, and have whatever you wanted with food and body. What would that look like for you?

Jen  

If I can wave my magic wand, the first thing that pops up is to lose the little bit of weight that I’ve gained in the past year and a half which could be from a number of things. And then, managing food given my two autoimmune disorders, without being in the restrict-binge cycle or feeling burnt out. That’s my biggest problem right now–the burnout. I have Hashimotos and type one diabetes. I have been on a quest for nearly 10 years to find what works best for my body. That has changed a lot, and I have done a lot of research on it. I’ve been a vegan. I’ve kept my fat intake really low because that increases my insulin sensitivity. I have done so much to try to listen to my body and to be aware of everything that’s going on; trying to do what works best for me, and I’m tired. I’m tired of having to count the carbs, which I’m gonna have to do for the rest of my life. It wears me out to always be tracking what’s working and what’s not to feel my best.

Marc David  

Oh, I could just about imagine! When were you diagnosed with type one diabetes?

Jen  

I was an adult when I was diagnosed. It’s been nine and a half years now. It was a little bit unusual to get diagnosed as a type one diabetic as an adult and also diagnosed with Hashimotos on the very same day. Since then, it’s been nearly 10 years.

Marc David  

How have you gone about working with Hashimotos?

Jen  

That tends to be the one I put more on the backburner because every endocrinologist I’ve encountered just wants to keep me on the levothyroxine and up my dose. I find the thyroid issue to be much harder to understand in terms of what will give me the best results and help me feel better, not feel so cold, and resolve my dry skin and weight gain. So, I don’t focus on that nearly as much as my blood sugar, even though I would love to be one of the people who others refer to as: “the one who got off the thyroid meds.” I don’t want to take more meds than I need to.

Marc David  

Are you on any other medication other than the levothyroxine? 

Jen  

Insulin, but nothing else for the thyroid. They had me stop taking that iodine, because they said that was actually making it worse. 

Marc David  

So, are you working? 

Jen  

Not outside of the house. I’m working on building my own eating psychology business working with a few people and doing the work to get more clients and more people to help.

Marc David  

Do you have a family? Are you in a relationship?

Jen  

Yeah, I’m in a long-term partnership with an amazing man. My kids are grown. Most of my immediate family including siblings and parents live in Wisconsin. So, I’ve got peeps everywhere.

Marc David  

All right. How old are you? 

Jen  

I’m 46. 

Marc David  

Okay, so let me just make sure, in my own words, what I heard you say. There’s a lot that goes into managing being a type one diabetic, from looking at the amount of carbs and the amount of fats you’re eating, to trying to figure out what works for you. It also seems like things change, and you’re the kind of person that obviously wants to do the right thing; a person who wants to have the best outcome and wants to heal your body. And after 9-10 years, it gets exhausting having to do all this management, and do all this counting?

Jen  

You got it perfectly. That’s exactly what it is. And a lot of it sends me into the diet mentality, with all the counting and the restricting. I don’t want to do that either.

Marc David  

Yes. So what have you done up to this point that you find helps you manage kind of the craziness of it all? Are there little things that you have found that sort of help you get through the tough times like when you’re feeling sick or feeling burnt out?  Sure, the things that are helpful…there are a few different systems that have worked well for me for a while. When those are working, it’s easy to stick to that. The things that I love to do that can help put me back in the right mindset include movement. If I’m having one of those days, where it’s horrible, and my food choices don’t seem to be working, I get out in the fresh air, and I go for a walk. When it comes to the different systems that I’ve tried, a lot of them worked for a while, and when they were working, I didn’t have trouble or any big issues. I’m not sure I’m answering your question. I think I’m in the mindset right now where I’m just really frustrated, and so it’s hard to think of the things that do work, because I’m having like one of those “f-it” moments. I hear you. Yeah, that was a difficult question. Because I’m basically asking you to answer the question that you’re asking me. But I’m just making sure to ask you because sometimes we know a few things, and we just need to be reminded, but it’s all good. So, when you are doing good, what does that look like for you? What does that feel like for you? 

Jen  

Okay, doing good. It means that I’m regulating my emotions really well. So, I’m not feeling some sort of deprivation or restriction. I’m able to be in the mindset of: “hey, I’m making a choice.” I’m making a choice to not eat that because it’s gonna mess up my blood sugar. I feel good when I can see on my continuous glucose monitor this nice even-keeled line that indicates that my blood sugars are completely in range. When I feel good, I don’t worry about my vision being blurry, because my blood sugars are high. I am moving with ease, and it doesn’t hurt. There’s a bunch of things that come when my blood sugars are really low. I get ravenous, like I can eat anything, even if I’m not wanting to eat. And when they’re high, I feel sick to my stomach, my head hurts, my heart beats fast. When I’m doing good, it looks like not having any of those things. It’s like feeling even keel, having the energy I want, and the mindset I want. That’s good. That’s a perfect day.

Marc David  

Yes. You know, it’s interesting, because traditionally, we’re told that there’s no “cure” for type one diabetes. You’re told that you’re going to be insulin dependent for the rest of your life and that you’re going to be monitoring your blood sugar in various ways for the rest of your life. What do you tell yourself when you hear that? 

Jen  

I want to cuss. I want to swear. I want to be one of the people who has a different story like the one who got a pancreas transplant, I don’t know. I want to be like: “Oh, that just sucks! I don’t want to be that person!” And yet, it took me a while to get to this. Prior to quitting my full time job to build my own eating psychology business, I was an educator. I taught for 15 years. I taught kindergarten and second grade to gifted students. The last thing that I taught was PE. I was the gym teacher. So, I used to hide my glucose pump and make sure it didn’t show through my clothes. I used to hide the fact that I was a type one because I didn’t want anyone to judge me for it or look at what I was eating and make assumptions or say that I shouldn’t have that.  Finally, I came to the point where I realized that I am a great role model. I said to myself, I’m gonna have type one for the rest of my life, but I can be the person who doesn’t let that define me or be a limitation, right? But, it does define me in that it impacts my day and my every decision. That’s part of the burnout. Diabetics make hundreds more decisions each day than people without diabetes. So, when I think I have to live with it for the rest of my life, it’s both sides of the coin. It’s like: “oh, my God, I’ve been doing this for 10 years, and I’m burnt out, and I’ve got another 40-50 to go!” or it’s like: “wait a minute! I can be this example. I can be a role model. I can make this work. I can live my best life in spite of it.” So, it depends where my headspace is in the moment.

Marc David  

Yes. Okay. I love this because you’re setting us up for this conversation by identifying two very clear, prevalent and understandable voices. One’s a little devil, the other’s a little angel and these two voices are in conversation. Honestly, to me? Both of them are perfectly understandable. There’s the voice in you that says: “screw this! I don’t want to do this. I gotta do this for 40-50 more years? No way, I want out of this! Somebody fix this. Give me a pancreas transplant. Make this go away!” Basically, you are in protest of this situation, because you say to yourself: “what should I do? Lay down and accept it?” Then the other voice is like: “okay, here’s what it is, here’s where it’s at. I’m not going to let this define me. I’m not going to let this stop me.”  That voice is more of the adult in you, the Queen in you, the wise woman in you who’s talking. And on any given day, week, or month, one of those voices is going to be more prevalent. Essentially, I’m going to agree with you that there is no possible way that you can continue being on the roller coaster that sounds like: “I’m burnout. Now, I’m recovering and getting a little more energy to deal with all this. Then, I get back on the horse. Then, I get burned out again.” As you know, that is not fun.

Jen  

It’s not fun at all. I feel the same way that I feel about when I talk to people about the idea that food isn’t good or bad and that you’re not a good or bad person for eating certain foods. I have to have that same kind of talk with myself about my numbers when I have an appointment with the endocrinologist. When they review my a1c, my blood sugars over the last three months, and my fiber intake, I feel like I’m either a good or bad person depending on how well I’ve done. So there’s that added pressure I put on myself. It’s this judgment like I’ve either passed a test or I’ve failed.

Marc David  

Yes, yes. So, I think here’s where the reframe starts to come. First and foremost, I’m always holding that our relationship with food and body, whatever it is, is a great teacher. If I can live there, and remember that, then I can be in a relationship, as best I can, with whatever’s coming up within my body, with my health, and with my relationship with food. I’m looking at it as a great teacher. What is it asking of me? How is it asking me to grow as a person? If I asked you: how does diabetes ask you to grow as a person as part of your personal and spiritual journey, what comes up for you?

Jen  

Gosh, the first thing that comes up is how I am managing it better than I’ve seen my family members managing it. My two brothers, mom, and my mom’s brother all have type one diabetes. And I have judgments about how some of them manage their own struggle with the condition. I feel like I can do it better, and yet I don’t always. So like, what’s that about? Is it that I have some sense of being superior? It’s just dumb. How you do food, is how you do life, right? I wonder why I think I need to be the best at it? Why do I think that my judgment has a place in any of this? So, I think that’s something I definitely can work on.  Also, the diet makes me feel restricted and deprived, and I don’t do well with that. So, there’s a piece where I know I need to shift from that. It’s not just with food. There are times where I feel like I’m missing out on something, and I don’t like that feeling. I think this is here to teach me how to walk the talk when it comes to doing things that honor my body and that honor my house. I want to walk the talk so that my kids never have to take care of me, and so that my quality of life is as awesome as possible for as long as I have. I’m so in love with people’s bodies in whatever state or shape that they’re in. The body is beautiful. It’s amazing. It’s a fantastic machine. And yet, sometimes I think I’m not doing a good job at taking care of my own body. I know that’s not true, but it feels like that sometimes. That was a lot of rambling!

Marc David  

Great answer to my question! When I asked you to tell me about your relationship with food and body and to reflect on what you feel like it’s teaching you, the first you started talking about was your family. You could be in perfect health, and I know plenty of people who have great health, who also have issues with their family. They have judgments towards their family. So, that’s nothing new. Family is always teaching us. Family is often asking us to practice compassion and acceptance. Your friends are your chosen family. They are the people who you choose to be in a relationship with, while your family are the people that God has chosen for you. So, these are the people I’m with, and maybe they don’t have the same viewpoints, the same habits, the same skills, or the same awareness that I do. And, they’re part of humanity.  It’s not just about feeling compassion towards them and unconditionally accepting them. You, better than anyone, know how difficult this nonsense with diabetes can be. You know how difficult it is to deal with this condition, and you know how crazy it can make you. So, in their world, it makes them crazy too. Ultimately, I think it’s about you learning compassion for you. It’s understanding that you have not done a single thing wrong and that you are not guilty. I think there’s this part of you that is the judge and the sentencer. You feel guilt like you did something bad that caused you to have or be given this condition. Somehow it feels like it’s punishing you. It’s depriving you. And on the one hand, you’re going to resist this restriction because it feels like jail, handcuffs, and punishment. But on the other hand, a part of you is gonna feel guilty like you did something wrong. 

Jen  

Yeah. 

Marc David  

And I think part of your practice on a daily basis is going to be about absolving yourself of any guilt. You have a condition that certainly has some type of genetic component to it.

Jen  

Yes. 

Marc David  

And you didn’t commit any crime to get where you are. People get ill. People get dis-eased. People get cancer. I know people who have had the healthiest diet, and the healthiest lifestyle, and they get cancer. How does that happen? There’s a place where we have to absolve ourselves of any sin and any guilt. As we do that, it becomes a little bit easier to start embracing your journey. One of my very close friends has been an insulin-dependent diabetic since his teens. He says to me: “you know, a lot of people do drugs so that they can escape. For a lot of people, that’s why they drink alcohol. That’s what they smoke. That’s why they do psychedelics. They are trying to escape. I do insulin. It’s my number one drug and the only drug I do. I do insulin, so that I can be here.”

Jen  

Right. Right. I call my insulin pump my life support.

Marc David  

Yeah, normally you and I don’t have to sit around worrying about whether our heart is going to beat or wondering if we have to do something to make our hearts beat. We don’t have to do something to make sure our brainwaves don’t flatten so that we don’t die. We don’t have to worry about that because our basic life support systems just do it themselves. We breathe naturally. If you and I had to remind ourselves to breathe, that would be a nightmare, right? So, you’re on an interesting journey where you get to participate in your own life support. It’s an interesting journey where you’re literally helping your life support systems. A lot of people don’t have to do that. And that exists not because you’ve done something wrong, but because it’s just what has happened, it’s just how life has unfolded for you. Is it unfair? Maybe. It might be unfair. And, how can you embrace that a big piece of the burnout is not the constant tracking of everything, even though that can be difficult? The biggest part of the burnout is your resistance to your own journey.

Jen  

To an extent. I love that you said the words “participate in it” because I’ve never thought about it like that. I’ve never thought about it as if I’m participating in my own life support. It is a burden sometimes because the frustration is added to when there’s so many things that impact me, and I can’t tease out what they are. I don’t necessarily need to know all the time, but if I’m not feeling well, my blood sugar goes up. If I’m stressed, my blood sugar goes up. Cycles and hormones make my blood sugar go up. I’m also thinking that part of my weight gain could be because I’m perimenopausal.  So, there are so many times where it’s not that having diabetes feels so hard in itself, but rather it’s hard when the result isn’t what I expected, and I don’t know why. There’s just all these variables that I don’t have knowledge of, or control over.

Marc David  

100% Agree. So, you have your own unique version of the mystery. We don’t know what’s going to happen to our body at any time. Everybody has their own unique version of this, depending on their age, depending on their level of health, depending on the ailments or disease conditions that they’re dealing with. We don’t know when we’re going to die. We don’t know when we’re going to start to feel more ill. We don’t know when we’re going to start to lose energy. We don’t know when our brains are going to fail. We just don’t know. So, that’s part of being in a body. Even if you didn’t have this condition, you’d be dealing with perimenopause, menopause, aging, you’d be dealing with knees, and this and that. So, all I’m saying is– this is your very interesting, fascinating, and unique journey. It’s a bit of a wild ride!

Jen  

Yes!

Marc David  

You’re a cowgirl, and you’ve got to be on the horse called “your life” and be on the ride with your body. And sometimes, that horse has given you a nice ride. Other times, you do everything you’re supposed to do, and it’s throwing you off.

Jen  

Yeah, that’s for certain. 

Marc David  

And there’s a place where you can make that a little more okay. This is what it looks like right now. This is what it has kind of looked like for the last nine or 10 years. And I think there’s a place where you can drop into your journey just a bit more. Just wrap your arms around it just a bit more and say to yourself: “everything that I’m going through is for my own growth, and my own betterment as a human being.” It’s a great place to learn how to walk the talk. It’s a great place to learn how to feel compassion towards others who have the same conditions or different conditions, as you. It’s a great place for you to learn how to forgive yourself, and to affirm that you’re not a bad girl. It’s also a great place to learn that this is not restricting you. It’s giving you boundaries, which are very different from restrictions.

Jen  

Oh, that’s a good reframe. 

Marc David  

Yes. You’re a mother, and you’ve been a mother. You raised your kids from a young age. And you know that there were times when you had to give them boundaries. 

Jen  

Absolutely. 

Marc David  

Now, your kid can look at you and say: “Mommy, you’re restricting me! I want to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it!” But you know that you’re not restricting them. That’s not the way it works. 

Jen  

Exactly. 

Marc David  

I’m giving you boundaries, so you stay sane. I’m giving you boundaries, so your life is going to work better. 

Jen  

Yeah. 

Marc David  

And every symptom is just creating a boundary for you. Boundaries are like how you create a river. A river has boundaries. It has river banks, and that’s what allows it to flow. So, boundaries help create who we are as humans.

Jen  

Right. I try to think of it as discipline with bliss–“blissipline”. The idea being that discipline can create freedom, and that it doesn’t have to be something that’s not joyful, you know? I like that: boundaries, instead of restriction. That flows and marries really nice with that. I’ve never thought about it with those particular words.

Marc David  

Because the moment you feel restricted, you’re likely going to go into the little girl inside you. 

Jen  

Absolutely. 

Marc David  

You’re going to take over, and she’s going to scream. 

Jen  

Oh, yes. 

Marc David  

She’s going to scream: “I don’t like this, I don’t want to do this. I’m done! I want to go home. No more of this! I don’t want to play.” That’s the child in us, who understandably, is complaining. You’re going to go there, and in the moments that you go there, it’s up to you to be a good mother to yourself. When your child is going to a place where they’re frustrated, where they’re anxious, where they just want to give up, and scream, and not play, and not show up. What do you do to love them? You talk to them, you get present with them. You stay with them. You listen to them. So, there are going to be moments when I think it’ll be great for you to just listen to that voice inside of you that wants to complain, and just give her a voice. Like, yeah, I totally get why this sucks for you. Have compassion towards that voice, as you be a better mother for yourself, as you be a better adult for yourself, as you be a better caretaker for yourself. 

Jen  

Yeah, there’s days where I can definitely think of that when I need that. I need to do that and start thinking about it from a sense of caring for myself, instead of being upset with myself or feeling frustrated with myself.

Marc David  

And let go for a while, just for a while. Have a handful of months where you let go of fixing this condition. Let go of the dream of: this all gonna go away someday. Let’s pretend that this is what it’s going to be like for the rest of my life.

Jen  

It is. 

Marc David  

Yes. As far as we can tell. So, let’s just pretend that this is going to be the journey. How do I love myself on this journey? Loving yourself doesn’t mean you necessarily love the whole journey. Loving yourself means you don’t abandon yourself when it gets difficult. Loving yourself means you speak kindly to yourself, no matter what’s going on. When the numbers don’t look good, you’re not a bad person. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t deserve judgment.

Jen  

And I know that intellectually. Yeah, absolutely. I think I know that intellectually. It is a hard thing to hold on to though when I’ve looked at my Continuous Glucose Monitor, and the numbers are climbing. There has been so much growth for me and I’ve allowed myself so much grace in the past couple of years where I tell myself: “this is okay. I can enjoy this, or not enjoy this. I can take what comes with it, and I will deal with it.” But sometimes…for a couple of years, I did a protocol called “Mastering Diabetes’ ‘, which is a plant-based, low fat diet protocol that worked for a while. But then I switched back to eating meat, and I felt better! There’s just this cycle when something stops working where I know that it’s not because I’ve done something wrong, but I don’t always know what to do now. Then, it just naturally falls into the same sort of thinking as diet thinking. It sounds like: “oh, I need more insulin, insulin is a fat storing hormone. I don’t want to store fat!” It’s this idea that I’m finding that one right way to eat, which I know doesn’t exist. So, it’s just constant. Yes, I can give myself grace. Yes, I don’t have to be so hard on myself, and I’m not doing something wrong. I can understand why the proportion of diabetics with eating disorders is higher than the general population. I totally get it. There are days where I could just say “f- it all!”. I think it, but I know I can’t. I would never do it. I have had to stop myself. But I definitely think it!

Marc David  

Yes. And it’s understandable. And it’s completely natural. And here is your body: being a great teacher for you. And sometimes the learning isn’t fun. Sometimes we learn lessons in life that just ain’t fun. And we’re paying a lot of tuition to learn lessons that we’d prefer we didn’t have to learn. As you’ve acknowledged, you’ve already come so far with how you be with yourself. And I think that’s your journey. It’s about you stepping into more and more freedom, no matter what your body’s doing. You step into more and more compassion, no matter what your body’s doing. You listen and manage all those voices inside you. 

Jen  

Okay, so in addition to what you’ve already said, what’s the reframe with that? When we’re talking to clients about food issues that increase their weight, I think of weight as not such a desirable thing. But then I also look at the things that could happen for me with extra weight: I could lose my toes. I could lose my eyesight. This isn’t just about putting on 10 pounds. I want to have grace with myself, but there’s also the potential for nerve damage and the incidence of diabetics dying of heart disease is so much higher. For me, there’s this different level of concern where I need to know what my body’s doing. I don’t want to do something that’s going to cause me to go blind. I think about the difference between 10 pounds and something really bad happening to me. So maybe some of what you’ve said already is the reframe for that worry, but I have a hard time being more relaxed with that sort of idea.

Marc David  

Let me just make sure I’m understanding what you’re asking. Is your concern that you’re going to gain X amount of weight, which would then put you at risk for something worse?

Jen  

No, not so much. It’s the idea that we can give our bodies grace, and we can allow them to be what they’re going to be. For some people, their biggest concern is their weight. We see a lot of people where that’s their concern, right? And so I know that you recommend to those people to cut off from dieting and be gentle with the body. You recommend not focusing on changing the body for a certain amount of time as the journey progresses. For me, I feel like if I just allow my body to do that, and show my body some grace, the complications that could come up for me are far more significant.

Marc David  

Absolutely. So, you are on your own unique journey. This is your journey, and it is different from anybody else’s journey. So yeah, you have to have more refined boundaries than the average person who just wants to lose 10 pounds. You have to have way more refined boundaries because the potential risks are greater for you if you’re not monitoring what’s going on in your body.

Jen  

And so that’s the line I’m having trouble making sense of. Sure, there’s the risks, but I don’t want to be completely head tripping all the time. So, what you’ve said applies to that. I’m realizing that I just have to revisit those words that you just said a little while ago. Yeah, it’s a tough one. 

Marc David  

Yes, you have clear boundaries, and yes, your body is potentially at risk on any given day. That’s not fun. That could be crazy making. And really the only remedy I know for that is not so much about de-stressing yourself. Yeah, you’re in stress and anxiety when you’re thinking about everything that could happen to you. You’ve got these tight boundaries where you’ve gotta eat this, and can’t eat that and you’ve got to make sure. So, the remedy is more Vitamin T: trust. Trust by itself is relaxing. You’ve been aware of this condition for 10 years now. And all things considered, you’re a healthy human being. All things considered, life isn’t so bad. 

Jen  

Great. 

Marc David  

And all things considered, this hasn’t killed you. In fact, I’m gonna guess it’s made you a stronger person. 

Jen  

I would agree with that. 

Marc David  

So far, according to the evidence that you’ve gathered, you have managed this condition really well. And not only are you managing it from a health perspective, but you’ve also become a better version of you.

Jen  

I would agree with that. Yes.

Marc David  

So, there’s no reason why that can’t continue. Part of it is just trusting in life and having faith that okay, so far, this hasn’t killed me. I’ve been able to help manage my body. I’ve helped to keep myself alive. I’ve helped to keep myself from worst case scenarios. And I’m a better human being. Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt. Yeah, this isn’t fun a lot of times. And this is my journey. So, all I’m saying is, if we’re asking the question: how is type one diabetes, the restrictive diet, and the boundary producing diet that you need to be on being a great teacher for you? All of this is asking you to trust.  Any one of us can die on any given day of who knows what. 

Jen  

That is true, yes.

Marc David  

You can be 35 and get a stroke and pass away, leaving behind young children. We don’t know what’s going to happen, and we don’t know when. This is you bringing in the spiritual part of you that recognizes that this here is my life. And eventually, no matter what I do, no matter what I eat, or don’t eat, I will die. Whether you’re vegan or you’re Paleo, we will definitely end up underground or cremated. That’s the end result of any fantastic nutritional system, as far as we can tell. So, that’s where we’re going. And in between the time that you and I have left, why not do our best to trust in the journey? Because sometimes, that’s all we have. Otherwise, my option is to freak out every day, right? My other option is to think the sword is going to come down on me today.

Jen  

Yes. And I appreciate that reminder. It’s the same way that I advise people not to get on the scale first thing in the morning because they allow that to set the mood or the tone for the day instead of checking in with how their body feels. I do the same thing by looking at my blood sugar numbers. For me, it’s not the number on the scale, but it’s the number on my glucose monitor. That does the same thing to me in my mental space. So, that’s an excellent reminder. We’re born, we eat, we die. Trust it. Trust all those in between pieces.

Marc David  

Yes, and learn as best we can. Your glucose number is different from the number on the scale. The number for you really does signify potential harm.

Jen  

But I don’t need to let it create or set up my mental space where I wonder if it’s a good number or not. That’s a good reminder for me.

Marc David  

Exactly. Because in the grand scheme of things, you have learned how to manage your experience such that no matter what the number has been, here you are. You’ve got all your toes, you’ve got your eyesight, and you have all your faculties. Things aren’t so bad. You’ve been doing something right. You’ve been doing something that works. 

Jen  

Yes, that is true. And I don’t give myself enough credit for that sometimes, I believe.

Marc David  

Yeah, and now’s a good time to start to turn that around. It’s a good time to start to bring in the positives. One way to get out of the negative of the situation is to not try to get rid of the negatives. The negatives are going to be there. Let’s try to focus more on some of the positives: how you’ve grown, how you’ve changed, how you’ve learned to manage this, how you’ve been successful at managing your experience, how it’s making you a better practitioner, how it’s making you a better, more compassionate, more understanding family member.

Jen  

Absolutely. It definitely is one of those things that puts more of life into perspective. That helps me see the bigger pieces in life that I value, and the things that really are priority. It is a teacher.

Marc David  

It really is, Jen. I think you’ve done a great job. I think this is a good turning point for you to just say to yourself: “hey, this is something I’m going to be dealing with, but I don’t have to fight with it in the same way.” There will be moments of fighting, but this is you participating in your own life support.

Jen  

Participating, yes.

Marc David  

You’re a participant in your own life support. You’re a participant in keeping your body working in a good way. You’re feeding yourself and nourishing yourself. When you take your insulin, that’s like cooking a great meal. You’re giving your body what it wants. 

Jen  

Right. 

Marc David  

And when you eat food, you’re doing your best to eat the food that’s going to support your body. Sometimes your body is going to go: “yes, that worked!” And sometimes your body’s gonna go: “hey, no, that didn’t work.” Either way, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just the wild ride of your body.

Jen  

In so many ways, despite two autoimmune disorders, I adore my body, and I’m so grateful for it. I’m so grateful that I have the technology I have to manage this. When my brothers were little it was a different situation. They had to check their blood sugar and take their injections. There’s nothing that makes me think that I don’t have it as good as it can be, given the circumstances. So, I definitely hold on to those things. I have to keep that in mind even when the days are a little less clear and when my mood is not quite as on point.

Marc David  

Yes, yes, yes. Well, I think this is a great place for us to wrap up. I’ll just say great work Jen. I really respect you. I respect your journey, and I respect how you’ve conducted yourself. As I’ve been listening to you speak in our time together, I’ve heard an amazing woman working with something really and truly difficult who’s doing her best to make it work in a good way for herself, and for the people around her. Someone who just wants to use this experience to help other people.

Jen  

Well, I appreciate that, and I respect your opinion immensely. I know how much experience you’ve had through the years working with so many different types of clients. Your words do mean a lot to me. I appreciate the reframes in terms of how I can continue to thrive in spite of it all. So, thank you.

Marc David  

Thank you, Jen. Likewise, and I’m so glad we spoke. Take care, everybody.