The Psychology of Eating Podcast Episode 91: Follow Up – What Can a Woman Boxer Learn from Weight Gain

Since her teenage years, Suzie has been battling a number of concerns including fatigue, digestive problems, mood swings and now a recent weight gain. As a Thai Boxing professional, she puts a lot of strain on her body and she’s ready to find some answers, but isn’t sure where to turn. In Susie’s first session, Marc David, Founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, helped her to see that the answers to her health and weight concerns are tied into her relationships with men, and how she sees herself as a woman. Tune in now as Marc does a follow-up session with Suzie. You’ll get a chance to see how she’s progressed since her first session, and the results are remarkable!

Below is a transcript of this podcast episode:

To see Suzie’s first session with Marc, click here

Marc: Welcome, everybody. I’m Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. And here we are in the Psychology of Eating Podcast. I’m here today with Suzie. Welcome, Suzie.

Suzie: Thank you. Good to see you again.

Marc: Yeah, we were just reminiscing about how time has flown since the last time we talked. It’s been about nine months. And I’m just wondering if you can fill in for people what you had wanted to work on and how things have unfolded for you since that first session.

Suzie: Well, when we had the session February, I had not long returned from Thailand. I had been Thai boxing. And basically my body had broken down in Thailand. And I moved back home just to give myself a bit of a break. And what I was really looking for was a breakthrough in terms of what direction to go in because I still felt a little bit lost, a little bit didn’t really have much direction.

And my body was still suffering from in Thailand, fighting recurrent infections. So, yeah, it was really just to feel more grounded. And it was obviously a big transition and time in my life. So I was just looking for what direction to go in and just a bit of self-guidance and support, really.

Marc: So where have things kind of unfolded for you? How have things gone? What’s been happening now?

Suzie: Well, I’m still living at home. So that’s all good. But in terms of health, I’m slowly getting back on my feet. And training wise, Thai boxing has taken a backseat really because I just couldn’t support it. I’m personal training quite a lot now. I’m working part-time with some friends at their business. So that gives me a set income each month. And it’s also working with really good people…positive childhood friends. So that’s been really good just to have some of that to be able to work in that environment.

What else? So, yeah, I’ve been part-time teaching Thai boxing, actually teaching it rather than training, being on the other side. So I’m enjoying that. I do a weekly women’s class, which is going well. And I rent a space at a local gym, which is steady right at the minute. But I find I get too busy with things, I wipe myself out. So it’s finding that balance still to listen to your body to what you can it can’t do.

In fact, I had a lot of back problems. But I worked with a personal trainer, as well, purely just to get some me time and to just focus on myself. And that’s helped me a lot. I realized I had a sway back. I wasn’t firing on the glutes, wasn’t firing my hamstrings. So we worked a lot on core. So that’s really helped me so much, getting back more mobile so I can do more.

I socialize a lot more. And, yeah, I’m pretty happy at the minute. Things are going pretty well. I did find, as well, from our session in February, it was really good to have that male mentor figure as yourself and the guidance. And I think it made it land a little bit more, the advice that you gave, because it was coming from a male figure. I’ve kind of lucked up in my life, that dominance of male guidance, that male support. So, yeah, I had a good boost from our session definitely.

And things have just improved really, just feeling a lot more grounded, a lot more levelheaded. And I’ve got in touch with a lady’s who’s a nutritional therapist and a sports massage. And she’s offered to mentor me because she’s basically doing what I want to do. So I’m going to do a masters in nutritional therapy next year and have that as my main focus, working with movement and obviously the psychology of eating and bringing it as a package, really.

So I finally got direction. I can see a vision of where I’m going. So that’s good. I kind of feel like I’ve got direction now, and a mentor, obviously, int this lady who’s going to help me through it. And she’s been helping me with my health, as well. So, yeah, things are happening finally. I’m happy.

Marc: Yay. That’s really such good news. I have to tell you what I remember from our conversation is that even then, your body felt a little bit beat up. You felt a little bit to beat up. Just physically and energetically you were on the mat a little bit, if you know what I’m saying.

And my impression had been that your body had taken on almost too much and that the Thai boxing, which I have no doubt was amazing for you, there is a level where, yeah, it led to back problems. And it led to pain. And this was just my impression.

Sometimes we don’t know or we don’t realize when we’re going past the point of putting too much pain on the body or putting too much strain on it because at that point it then starts to affect us. It starts to affect my emotions. It affects my personality. It affects my outlook. And when we spoke, it was almost as if your body had to stop. You had no choice.

Suzie: I could push through it. In my mind, I could just keep going. And I’d just push myself through it. But, yeah, you’re completely right. My body was just like, “Well, hang on. I’m just going to make it so that you can’t do that. You have to start listening to me.” My body was just telling me, definitely.

Marc: And, to me, I think that’s a collective problem. A lot of people don’t know when they’re pushing their body past the limit that serves them, whether it’s too much food, whether it’s not enough food, whether it’s the wrong food, whether it’s too much exercise, whether it’s too much work and not enough sleep even.

There’s this fundamental place where we sometimes don’t take care of ourselves because I think you have the kind of mind where, like you say, you can push through things. And that has a great advantage. It’s a great asset. But it can also be a really big liability, too, because there could be times when you push through things and it doesn’t work for you.

Suzie: Definitely. Definitely. It was all about self-worth, as well, a little bit, I think, just having that a self-worth, self-respect to say, “Hang on a minute. I can’t do that. It’s not possible,” rather than thinking, “No, just to do it. No, I’m being told to do it,” and stuff. So, yeah, I’ve worked a lot on building self-confidence and just being a bit nicer to myself, being more of a friend to myself then beating up all the time.

Marc: Good for you. Good for you. And I want to point out something that you mentioned that I think is worth repeating. You said to me, “Hey, it was good at that point just to have a male mentor,” somebody like me giving you feedback. And I think it’s so true that at different times in life, we hunger for different kinds of input. At different times in life, I might need the input from a male mentor. I might need input from a female mentor.

It’s hard to predict. But I think life is like that. There’s this invisible flow and this invisible architecture. And sometimes there’s something that we need. And you don’t have to figure out why I need that. It’s just like, “Hey, I need a smart woman in my life,” or, “I’m a smart male in my life to give me feedback.” So I’m just really glad that you were able just to notice that for yourself and say, “Okay, this is good medicine for me.”

Because I have the same thing happened to me. There’s times when I want… I’ve been mentored by people 25 years younger than me because I needed to listen to somebody younger, cooler, and hipper. You know what I’m saying? Or times when I’ve really wanted somebody much older than myself to give me just a little bit of wisdom or a little bit of insight that I might need. So I just think it’s interesting how life works that way sometimes.

Suzie: Yeah, I’ve definitely got in touch with how the universe can work like that. And I now look, when things happen, whether it’s negative, positive, I always look and see, “Well, what’s that telling me? How can I work with that?” It’s happened for a reason. And there are things, as well, that I’ve may be wanted and I’ve been searching, searching. But it’s all messed up and led me to a different direction. And I found exactly what I was looking for.

So it’s weird how things and little coincidences start to happen. Things just work out so you just are trying to relax with everything now it just trust that things work out, even if it goes a bit rubbish at times. It’s for a reason. There’s a message there. There’s something there that you need to listen to. It’s really fascinating. And I’ve really opened my eyes up to that recently.

Marc: Yay, good for you. Let me ask you this question. We had talked when we met last time about you and men and you and dating. And I’m just wondering where that’s at for you.

Suzie: I’m still single. I’ve dated a few times. But I don’t know. I guess I feel I’m still at a position I’m just finding out about myself so much, just identifying who I am, being independent in my life that when the right guy comes along, he’ll come along and in the right circumstance and stuff.

So, yeah, I dated a few times. But it just fizzled out. It didn’t really take off. And I’m pretty happy at the minute the way things are going. Yeah, it would still be quite nice to have someone to share it with. But I just got a two-week old puppy. Well, she’s 11 weeks now. But I’ve had her for two weeks. So, yeah, I just got a little puppy. So she’s taking a lot of time at the minute.

Marc: Right. Well, good for you. I don’t think people do this enough. And what I mean by “this” is I don’t think we as a world oftentimes give ourselves enough time to just be alone and not have to be in relationship.

For people who aren’t married, often times what I’ve noticed is if you’re not married, you’re either in a relationship and a you’re unhappy about it, or you’re wanting to be in a relationship and you’re unhappy about not being in a relationship. Or you’re recovering from a relationship that you were just in. Or you’re in this new relationship and it’s all great because it’s new.

And a lot of times we don’t give ourselves the spaciousness to be in relationship with me and just to let it go almost. And, like you said, hey, when it happens, it’ll be natural. And it’ll show up in its right time. And meanwhile you’re focusing on you. There’s something to be said for that.

I just know from my own experience, I’ve had times in life where I’ve spent years not being in any kind of relationship and just being with me and focusing on work and focusing on self and focusing on health and just focusing on friends and relatives and life. And I just think there’s something valuable about that, that if we’re in that phase, it’s good to notice that.

Suzie: Yeah, definitely. I’m certainly learning to appreciate the smaller things, learning to appreciate the people around me, learning to appreciate my family definitely, and, like you say, being in a relationship more with myself. I can be a little bit selfish at times, as well. If I do feel a bit as if I’m overdoing things, I do still get a little bit overwhelmed. So I know then I just need to slow everything down and just stop and do things that nourish me.

I’ve started riding horses again and go out for walks and to do things, yeah, just looking after me, really.

Marc: Well, it really feels to me like you are on a very powerful journey of self-discovery and accelerated growth since I first spoke with you. And based on what you’re sharing now and based on how you’re feeling to me now, it just seems like you’ve really answered the call. You’ve really responded to what you needed to do for you in a great way. I really hope you feel a sense of accomplishment because you’ve accomplished quite a bit since the last time we spoke.

Suzie: Yeah, I do. And I think a lot of its come from just relaxing into it, relaxing into the uncertainty. I think it’s a big message that came through the course, as well. And, yeah, when things feel a little bit overwhelming, then just to slow down and just trust that things are going to work out and try to listen, as well, to where I want to go and the direction I want to go in when opportunities present themselves. If it doesn’t feel right to me, then turn that down. But if in my gut it feels good, then go with it.

But, yeah, definitely, in the last nine months, I’m really getting to where I want to be. It’s going to be another long road because obviously I’ve got my Masters next year. And that’s three years. But now I’m feeling a lot more grounded, definitely feeling a lot more grounded. A lot happier about the time, as well, I feel. I have a daft smile on my face a lot. So I’m just going with it. It’s good.

Marc: That’s because you’re in the right place. I just want to say that many, many moons ago, one of my professors, teachers, mentors when I was in graduate school, Gordon Tappen, whenever one of us really smart graduate students, but really graduate students who thought we were so smart, whenever we would say something that sounded so certain and so sure, he’d always say, “But, what about uncertainty? Because uncertainty rules your life.”

And I never quite knew what he was talking about. But he used to say it so many times with such conviction. “But what about uncertainty?” And he’s the one who really taught me to honor the parts of life that we just don’t know. And we just don’t know what’s going to happen. We’re not sure because it’s easy to become confused and upset and running around like a crazy person when we don’t have certainty.

And it takes a certain maturity. It takes a certain being in my body and breathing and trusting in life that, okay, things are uncertain right now. But that’s part of life. And how can I be with that and still be okay and respect myself and still have a smile on my face and you know that, yeah, and the next phase will come. And things will get more clear. And then more uncertainty will come down the line. I just tend to think that’s how life works.

Suzie: Yeah, it really takes a load off, as well, just being like that, just relaxing into it and just not worrying so much about it. And, like you say, not getting stressed and all that chronic stress and what that does to you. Just relax with it and know it’s going to be all right.

Marc: Yay. Well, Susie, great, great job. I’m so happy for you. I’m just so happy that things have unfolded in such a beautiful way. And that’s really due to your efforts. So I just want to say congratulations again.

Suzie: Thank you. I’m really, really pleased. I’m happy now. I’m staying in England and know where I’m going and feeling a lot more grounded. Life’s pretty sweet at the minute. It’s all good. It’s all good.

Marc: All right. Well, thank you so much. Thank you so much for being willing to share openly with me, with us. And I have no doubt this will help a lot of people. So thank you again.

Suzie: No, thank you. Thank you. It’s been great.

Marc: All right. And thanks, everybody, for tuning in. Once again, I’m Marc David on behalf of the Psychology of Eating podcast. There’s lots more to come, my friends. You take care.

I hope this was helpful. Thanks for listening to the Psychology of Eating Podcast. To learn more about the breakthrough body of work we teach here at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, please sign up for our free video series at IPE.tips. You’ll learn about the cutting edge principles of dynamic eating psychology and mind-body nutrition that have helped millions of people forever transform their relationship with food, body, and health.